The quiet

I’m sitting here alone trying to find the right words as I eat my breakfast and look around me at a quiet house wondering how it all came to this point in my life. The memories placed neatly into a few dozen photo albums… The mass quantities of VHS tapes of movies and family memories… The DVDs that contain those same memories… I ponder… How did this circle get made? I think of better times and times much worse than this all creating a circle of my own memories. As I gear up for this day I know the windshield time and the visit to the old man who has lost his own memories will be a challenge. It is all to find my way back to my own comfortable world…. the everyday hum-drum world that I have chosen to exist in.

I look forward with great anticipation to find closure to this part of my circle… to find resolve with the many memories that exist in my own mind and heart. I truly wish the same for the many people that have crossed their own circles upon this one. It will most likely be a difficult task but I know I will move on and complete my own circle the best I can… the best I was taught… the best I learned… I’ll follow my heart… I’ll love and remember the memories and collect my own memories. I’ll hopefully have the fence painted before someone else needs to do that for me…. I’ve learned.

With so many memories good and bad I feel free to continue this circle hoping it is a better circle from all I’ve experience and learned. I move forward with the lessons I’ve learned and hope to not repeat those my heart doesn’t see fit to include in my circle… make my circle a positive one for those that may need to paint that fence and will smile about and include those those same efforts into their own circles.

This may all seem pretty cryptic and disconnected but my message is stay positive and move forward. Dwelling in the past serves little purpose. You have your own circles to create. Move ahead with the understanding your circle will be of your own choosing and will be your own creation. There is no sense is harboring resentment over things are already in the past. Life to me is a forward progression. Thank you old man for teaching me this lesson.

pl&t


í lok lífs

There are too many things running away with me this morning. Not sleeping much the past few weeks isn’t helping. I’ve hit a spot in my road where I need to stop and figure out the priorities. With that I’ll put something out there I’ve been rolling around for some time. When it comes time for the end of my stay on this planet I want to donate whatever body parts that are worthwhile and the remains are to be cremated. I’d like those ashes to be placed… not scattered… at the following lat / long – 40.969279,-75.107554. As a Jersey boy it seems fitting to finally rest someplace where changes were formulated that brought me to this place in life. As I don’t have much else to leave behind for others I’ll leave this thought process to an end. With any luck no one will need this information for a while but just in case… smile.


Deva vu

I’m feeling like I just rolled time back 10 years.

And I’m not a fan….


Tuesday challenge

We started this past Tuesday early morning with a bit of amusement…. well maybe my amusement. Cathe made the decision that a week long stay at a hospital was an item on her bucket list that needed to be accomplished. As she struggled down the hall to make a visit to the toilet she proved to herself that gravity does in fact have an effect on a weaken body. I wasn’t sleeping due to her weakened state and multiple trips to the throne that night. When I heard her hit the floor I jumped up, put her down on the floor with legs elevated and let Sadie come over to see what her human friend looked like laying down in the hallway. My next question was “should I call 911 now?”. She wasn’t ready I guess and wanted to visit longer with the dog on the floor. I let her as I moved around the house gathering up items I knew were necessary for a stay in the emergency room at 5AM. Coffee was high on the list. She eventually was through visiting with the ‘looper dog’ and brought herself to reality and said ‘I guess it might be time to call’. Within 5 minutes an ambulance was in our front yard looking for the body to cart away.

This past week has been a bundle of fear, reality, sadness, patience, numbness, exhaustion and enlightenment. I’ve cried so hard I thought my nose would never unstuff. I’ve fought so hard to point out what seemed like the obvious. I’ve pushed myself so hard to find something joyful every waking moment. I managed to stay sane and continue on even with this brutal sadness surrounding me. So many people and their friends and families coming here finding nothing but the end of a story. So many stories about those last precious moments before the end.

So today after living our lives with all of these things we are going to move back home. The end of another chapter or maybe 6 of our lives together.

Tuesday to Tuesday / sadness to joy / falling to the floor to staying on your feet…


Needles

Short day today.  We are back in California.
Temperature on the border is 115.  It is hot.

We went to the Petrified Forest yesterday.
Very nice getting an idea where the trees end up.

The dogs didn’t like the man at the Ag check coming
into CA.  He asked if we had one dog when he saw
Sadie.  Carly barked at him when I said two.

I’m ready to be home.  The bouncing down the road
has made me crabby.


It’s a rainy day

Frogs, crickets and fatty raindrops bring sleep to me tonight.
Nice cool breezes and snoring dogs.

Tomorrow we will be seeing a little person.
Can’t wait.

I want
corn
tomatoes
wet mozzarella
hot dog
landjaeger


Pencil

-tucky!  Hee Yaw!


Richmond

Katydids… I missed you.  Next will be the lightning bugs.

The girls missed their run tonight.  It sucks being on a leash.
I can’t wait to go swimming with them.

Cathe has put up with my crap and deserves a medal.
Three more states down and three more to go.


Danville

80 degrees at 6am soon to be 104.

Hotter than hot… My wife that is…


Nevada

Big yard.  Happy dogs. 

Smelly garage.  Moody wife.

Hot, hot, hot…  I sigh…

Still going Easterly East


Tuesday

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